American Jokes 64
American Jokes 64
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A gentleman was really down and out, no job, no food, really in bad shape. In complete discouragement, he wandered by the zoo. He was accosted by a man from inside the zoo, who asked him if he had anything to do that day,to which he replied, "No! I sure don't. I have no job. I have no food.I just don't have anything to do, no place to go...." The zookeeper said, "Well, brighten up, friend. I have a job for you. I have a problem here, and I'll give you $100 for about six hours work!" The hungry man, suspicioning this might not be anything too simple, asked just what he was going to have to do to earn the $100. "My gorilla is sick, and this is Sunday. The crowds always love to see the gorilla, and if I don't have one in the cage today, we are going to loose money, for people won't come back if they don't get to see a gorilla. I have a big furry gorilla suit back here, and if you will put it on, and spend six hours acting like a gorilla out in the cage, I'll gladly give you $100!" The man thought a moment, and said, "In this heat, that is going to be terribly hot. I'm not so sure!" "OK, OK! I'll give you $200 for six hours, and you can take a thirty minute break in the middle, just please do it for me!" By the time he got the suit all zipped up, he was sweating profusely, but when he opened the door a crack, he could see that the crowd was indeed gathering, and the children were calling for the gorilla. So, in resignation, he pulled on the head, fastened it down tightly, opened the door and lumbered out into the cage. The cheering was wild, and the children began throwing peanuts and bananas. He began to grunt, apreciatively, and then began to enjoy acting up, "aping" for the crowd, and in general began to have a wonderful time with his new-found popularity. Spying the tire hanging in the middle of the cage, he made a run for it, swinging high up in one direction, and then back in the other. The crowd went wild, yelling "Higher. Higher!" He began to pump his body in rhythm with the swings urging the tire and chain to go even higher. Finally, at the apex of one of his swings, with a sudden snap, the chain let go, and man, gorilla suit, and tire flew out the top of the cage, landing with a thud ... in the lion's cage. Groaning, the man rolled over, got up on all fours, and looking up he saw a huge lion coming toward him at a full gallop. He immediately began tearing at the head of the suit, trying desparately to get it off, shouting at the top of his lungs, "Help.. Help. I'm really a man. I'm not a gorilla. Help! Help!" At this moment, he was struck by the lion, knocking him to the ground, and before he could renew his yelling, he heard a voice saying, "Shut stupid. If you don't quit, we're BOTH gonna loose our jobs!" | |||
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男は仕事がなかった。食べるものもなくてやせ細っていた。 落ち込んで動物園にいくと動物園の人が仕事の話をもってきた。 「6時間で100ドルあげよう。ゴリラ病気になったんだ。今日は日曜だし、ゴリラを見に来る人がたくさんいる。ゴリラがいなかったらお客さんはがっかりして、動物園に二度と来なくなるよ。ゴリラの毛皮を着てくれないか？」 男はちょっと考えて、「今日はとても暑い。できるかどうかわからない」と答えると、 「わかった、わかった。200ドルにしよう30分の休憩もとっていい。お願いだ」 男は引き受けた。 はじめてみるとなかなか面白く、男はいい気になった。 観客の「高く！高く！」という声に合わせて、ブランコのタイヤを思い切り揺らした。 そして、（予想通り(^^;）、ゴリラの男はとなりのライオンのおりに落ちてしまった。 男はあわてて、着ているものを引き破ろうとしながら、「助けてくれ！僕は人間だ！！ゴリラじゃない！！！助けてくれ！！！！」と叫ぶと、 ライオンが言った。「静かにしろ！静かにしないと、おれたちは2人とも職を失うぞ！」 |