American Jokes 63
American Jokes 63
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Dear Mom and Dad: It has been four months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. Don't read any further unless you are sitting down .... OK? Good. I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got from jumping out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire, shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get three headaches a day. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at a nearby gas station, and he was able to call the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but I'm sure it will be before I start to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents, and I know you will give the baby the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child.The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests, and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up, thanks to my daily penicillin injections. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind, and although not well educated, he is ambitious. Also, he is of a different race and religion than ours, but I know, after all your years of teaching me tolerance, that you won't mind the fact that he is somewhat darker than we are. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good, too; I am told that his father is an important gunbearer in his native African village. I guess that's it. Now that I have brought you up to date, I want you to know... There was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I do not have syphilis and there is no man of another race in my life. However, I am getting a "D" in History and an "F" in Science, and I wanted you to see these marks in their proper perspective. Your loving daughter, XXXXXX | |||
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おとうさん、おかあさん: 4ヶ月もの間、手紙を書かなくてごめんなさい。お話することがいろいろあります。でも、その前に、いすに座って心を落ち着けてください。座るまでは読まないでね。 学校で火事があったの。私は寮の窓から飛び降りたわ。病院に入ったのは2週間だけですんだの。 火事のときにお世話になった人がいて、私は、寮が焼けたあと、住むところがなかったので、彼はとても親切に自分のアパートに住まわせてくれたわ。彼はとてもいい人で、私たちは恋におちたの。 そう、おとうさん、おかあさん。私は今、妊娠しています。私たちのこどもをおとうさんとおかあさんが、どれくらいかわいがってくれるか、目に見えるようだわ。どうして私たちの結婚が遅れたかというと、彼の方にちょっとした病気があったの。それが私に移ってしまったの。でも、ペニシリンを毎日うったので、直ったわ。 私はおとうさんとおかあさんが、彼のことを快く受け入れてくれることがわかっているわ。彼が、私たちと違った人種で、違う宗教でもね。かれはとてもいい人だもの．．． やっと、おとうさんとおかあさんに、私の近況を報告できるわ。．．．寮が火事になったりしていないの。病気にもなってないし、病院にも入ってないわ。妊娠もしてないし、婚約もしてない。私は違う人種の人にであったりしてないわ。．．．ただ、私は、歴史でD（一番悪い成績）をとって、科学でF（不可）をとってしまいました。 あなたの愛する娘より（愛をこめて） |